Before I begin to talk in depth about grief and its process, I wanted to bring this to your attention. In the last text I told you that every one lives his mourning according to his past bereavements as well as his personality, his beliefs.
But it is important that you know that every man and woman experiences their emotions differently. Everyone knows the myth that women live their emotions more than men who keep everything within. It all starts from childhood.
Parents tend to the boy to focus on physical development, while girls are communication that takes precedence over their emotions. The goal here is not to accuse your parents.
So depending on what your parents have taught you about emotions and your future experiences set your reactions to the hardships of life. Thus, some men may live more from within their emotions and women be more closed on them.
So stop hiting you and saying, “Oh! I am too emotional or ah! I’m cold. There is no harm in being who you are. By knowing how you live your emotions, either internally or externally, this will give you a hint how you react to a great loss, such as the death of your pet.
If you grew up making you say: do not cry, it’s for girls that. Guys are made to be strong. It adds in the expression factor of emotions.
But today you are more mature and you know that you can change these old concept in the face of emotion and free yourself from these false beliefs or judgments in the face of your emotions and be tolerant of others.
You may have an introverted woman who does not seem to live emotions, but who lives them from within.
You as parents, you have a responsibility to let the child express himself or herself like that does him good. Your way of dealing with his losses, will determine how he will enter into a relationship in the world.
The goal is not to make victims of life and its trials, but rather, to be responsible and to assume its emotions.
To assume your emotions means to stop accusing others for your misfortunes.
Pointing others is a defense mechanism not to feel the suffering of the loss of your pet. So, by directing your attention to others, you avoid touching your suffering. It is an excellent defense mechanism used by many people, but gives absolutely nothing to help you in the death of your pet.
The time you lose to do this, you will catch up. Your mourning will catch up with you.
Whether you want it or not, the grieving process will happen. It is not by osculting it of your thought, that it will not exist. And if you do not know, your body will signal to you.
So, your homework this week: see if you have preconceived ideas about emotions and see how you live these.