The second phase of mourning is denial. She is following the shock stage closely. Theorized by Sigmund Freud, it is defined as: no consideration of reality.

The place where the pet is dead can be avoided. Some people will leave the toys out of sight, the bowl of water, food intact. Others will talk and talk about death (without emotions) and how he died. Sleeping with ashes, not far.

Avoid talking about it, to avoid giving up emotions too much. Some people may seem anesthetized.

The bereaved will keep busy doing lots of things to get around the subject. He can become an investigator to find a culprit of the death of his animal. Seeking a culprit because it’s too hard to accept the death of your animal. Some people will even keep it alive by talking to them.

Even if the person hides his emotions in appearance, inside a storm gets ready.

We try to act as if: everything was fine, that you spend your mourning like a big one. That you went to other things. After all, it was just an animal, was not it ?! The entourage, which sometimes, to do no harm, will trivialize the death of the animal saying: you can go get another. It’s better that way, he does not suffer anymore. And it can take the person to fall back on themselves and remain in denial by avoiding expressing their emotions in the face of his death.

It is sometimes in this stage that some people will buy, on a whim, another pet to avoid thinking, to cry the deceased. (I will come back to this topic very important to know if yes / no we buy another pet and after how long)

The function of denial serves to guard against too much pain of loss, too much emotion. It can last a long time. The real work of mourning begins when the end of denial comes and we are ready to accept the death of his animal is real and he will never come back. The emotions that follow are inescapable and people know it deep inside.

For example, Gabriell, bangal breeder, who lost her beloved cat, who buried her, she cut off her emotions and avoids talking about it, because her emotions she stays them alive and she feels that it go up fast. It’s been two years, and she remains in this pain too hard to express, to touch.

Emma, ​​a savannah breeder, says she has not accepted the reality that her serval cat was taken from her , for two years when she started legal proceedings, and a rodeo organization, to get them back home. . With the failure to get her cats back, she did not have the choice to accept that he will never come back, despite the anger and helplessness. She miss them a lot today. She did not mourn completely and she still cries a lot.

In the next article I will talk about the subject of mourning: emotions.

Do you remember this stage of mourning: denial? Tell me.



Humanist therapist

Grief specialist



Brigitte Bérubé

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