To reinvest after pet loss

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Hello, today I’m talking about the last stage of animal mourning: reinvestment. Of course we can not live this last step without having done a mourning work beforehand. (see the other articles)

The storm has passed, time to advanced despite the physical and emotional suffering of having lost your pet.

Some owners know from the death of their animal that they will never take again and remains with this statement.

One says to himself that they have suffered so much that they will never take it back, but that with the time they change their idea and get another one.

The other knows that it does not matter how much grief you feel when you lose your four-legged friends, that he will take another one back as long as he can take care of it.

And some quickly after the death of their pet will get another quickly.

Reinvesting or not reinvesting there is the question!

If I take another animal, I take the risk of reliving a mourning again.

There are serious questions to ask when you want to get an animal. Given the lack and implication that his request to have one. A commitment for more than a decade, sometimes.

1- Did I mourn my dead animal?

If I have not mourned, I may project my sorrows, my expectations on the next animal. He will not be able to be loved for himself, but for the hope that he will be like the other, with these same qualities. All this to fill a void. And sometimes, some owners even buy the same breed.

2- Do I take an animal on a whim?

The void is so painful that the person can not stand it and wants to take an animal quickly. This greatly increases the risk of making bad choices and abandoning animals.

3- Did I learn lessons from my experiences?

What I would do and never do again. What I would do differently.

4- Did I make peace with my guilt?

Taking another animal without having let go of guilt will not take away, NEVER, that guilt if you have not done a job on it.

5- Am I ready to love again?

The comparison is natural in humans. It’s inevitable that you will compare it to your deceased animal. Would you be willing to love him as he is, with his qualities and weak points?

6- Is taking a pet away from my need for love?

It is after having made a work of mourning and going to the bottom of things and the colors of the mourning, the sufferings, that one touches at the bottom of oneself with this unique love that an animal brings us. So have the need to relive that love and share the love we have deep inside us for these living beings.

I also know several people who quickly, to get through their mourning, will get another pet. Is it bad or bad? Of course, if I just came to the list of questions I have listed above, it would be, in any case, not in the right order of things of mourning.

But as many as there are people, as far as there is way to live the mourning. Everyone finds these ways to get through.

I have known people who do not do it for good reasons and give up animals. But I have known people who consciously make them to take an animal quickly and who love their new animal as well.

There is also a question of balance. If you lose one and pick yourself up with several at the same time, then I suggest you consult.

If you are undecided about whether or not, I pick one up. If yes or no, I mourn. I suggest that you go to a bereavement therapist who will be neutral and help you make a rational and emotional balance to this choice.

It is at your own risk to ask your entourage, because everyone has their opinions on the issues, especially since the majority already have pet loss  is taboo, it may not be the right people who will guide you to the choice. who will do you good.

As for me, I have already done both: buy on a whim to replace my dead animal and wait to mourn. Let’s say that on my 6 dead animals, I did it only once, replace quickly. I understood that despite suffering, that I was not going to die of pain, that I was going to survive and re-adopt again. My need to share my love is greater than the fear of losing. I have been more nourished by living my mourning entirely than by replacing the void.

The emptiness I filled it with the legacy that everyone left me. (see before last article).

I wish you to fill your voids with that love you have and the memories that your pet has left you.

And how do you precede after your mourning?

Did you wait or not?

Brigitte Bérubé

Humanist therapist

grief specialist

Brigitte Bérubé

Brigitte Bérubé

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