Anger in pet loss

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Hello, today, I’m talking about anger in animal bereavement. Many pet owners will relate. After denial, begins the work of mourning.

No longer in the negation the reality strikes. My pet is really dead!

Subsequently, the next emotion is usually anger. Often in animal mourning, the owner of the deceased animal will have experienced anger directed towards the veterinarian. The accusers not to have done enough, not to have done all the tests, to give all the treatments, not to have done the impossible: a miracle.

The Accusation

The person will sometimes go so far as to blame his entourage responsible for the event that will take to the death of the animal. The other: he was not careful enough, he gave something to eat he did not need. He should not have left the door open.

That he should not have trusted this person to keep his pet. Who hit my pet? Is it the neighbour? Everyone becomes suspicious.

It is not unusual for the mourning’s entourage to move away with all these accusations, thus maintaining the loneliness of the mourners, who then accuse them of not caring about their suffering in the face of death. of their animal.

The Anger

Also, the person directs his anger towards himself. With all the responsibility that the owner takes on his shoulders to give the maximum to maintain the life of the animal, to offer a quality of life until the end. And that anger will become guilt. (I’ll tell you about it in my next article)

In today’s society, most people do not know how to express anger correctly. Or she is directing towards oneself, feeling guilty, or towards others by being aggressive. It is a reaction to a situation that is out of control.

What is the Impact of Anger

What is the impact of anger? Badly directed anger at a destructive germ. This is triggered in the brain and spills into the body and manifests itself by increasing the frequency and cortisol and testosterone. Long-term: headaches, digestive problems, insomnia, anxiety, depression, hypertension, skin problems such as eczema, stroke, heart attack. Cancer.

And finally, anger can bring: bitterness, despair, feeling of uselessness, and recurring sadness.

For Emma, ​​a breeder of serval, the anger she felt more because she felt helpless in the face of justice and also against her with all the responsibility to take the difficult task of deciding for the animal. She was questioning herself: did I make the right decision?

Anger at helplessness, at all these questionings that IF … I had done so or that … And the anger experienced in the face of justice in the case of his seizure of the government, injustices that causes anger.

When she found a rational medical reason, it allowed her to reduce her anger. The impact of anger for her was depression and a bitter taste for life and the system of government.

How to Express Anger

How to express anger? First, avoid bursting on your surroundings. Calm yourself by withdrawing from the situation and expressing: I am angry right now, I will step back and come back when I am calm. Take a deep breath, count to 10. Talk calmly. Express your sorrow, your anger. Make things clear in the face of interpretations. Practice physical activity, and meditation.

What I have observed is that the people who come to therapy express that anger, that it fades rather than explodes and hides a deep sadness.

You have a story to tell? A similar personal experience with anger. Express yourself.

Brigitte Bérubé

humanist therapist

grief specialist

Brigitte Bérubé

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