There is no perfect relationship. In spite of all the love you feel, there will always be times when you were less patient or less attentive.
It appears because it is too late to return to an experience we regret.
There are 2 types of guilt
Unjustified: She is normal in the mourning process and is often not connected to what happened. It appears when there are unrealistic expectations to believe that one should have: I should have given more time, be more attentive to the onset of illness, give it a better treatment, play more often with it.
We remember the last moments, repeating in a loop. Try to reinvent the end. How would I do this differently so as not to feel that guilt?
Putting words on what has been alive changes the unrealistic requirements. It helps to realize the reality of events.
Justified: Having caused harm to his animal. For example: not having a fence and the animal was hit. Do not go to the vet knowing that he is sick. Not having properly accompanied his dying animal. Having access to the pool, he died drowned.
Faced with this guilt, we can not change the past, but we can change our feelings about the past.
It is essential to express this guilt because feelings that do not express themselves will become embedded in your body. I often say it: guilt is a poison.
Faced with a lack of meaning in the death of your pet, you tend to turn angry towards yourself and it gives guilt.
Sometimes, some homeowners will feel this guilt in the face of a sense of relief when the end means no longer suffering. And many, do not dare to express this relief.
I’m supposed to be in mourning, they say, mourners, if I feel relief it’s not normal.
Normal? According to the myth of how to live a mourning.
And to avoid touching this guilt in the face of relief a rational defense and repeat: it is for the better, it does not suffer anymore. But in the background, this guilt awaits you. She is stronger than your rational. It becomes an eco impossible to ignore.
The human being does not conceive of death, except when it happens to him.
Oh, ok, I can die and what i love too.
Your problem is that you think you have time. But death is unpredictable.
Do you feel guilty? Go talk about it!
The next article is on how to get out of guilt. It’s not easy, but there is hope and remember that hope does not come with action.
thérapeute en relation d’aide
spécialiste du deuil animalier